Quick recap

I thought I would have had a chance to update this thing before the new month but, honestly I have been one busy witch the past week. For one, I was blessed with the experience of sharing Samhain with some fellow witches. A group of us had gotten together and had an amazing weekend in the woods up in the mountains. The workshops held were beyond amazing and the experiences from those will be with me for the rest of my life. I met some wonderful people who shared my passion for Paganism. It was really nice to have a little witches retreat and just let our selves be free and open. They say if you get a bunch of witches together in one place, great magick will erupt. And boy did we make some magick! We connected with nature, our ancestors, and the great divine in a way the words would not be able to describe. It also amazed me how many of us there actually are in such a small place. I had this little joke within myself about how I must be the only witch in my area and boy was I wrong! I'm going to have to cut this a bit short as I am once again flooded with emotions and thoughts from the weekend and I just want to enjoy my high....

You're Grounded!

I'm going to keep saying this probably until the day I move on from this life, but really sometimes I really love magick! Once again the goddess has answered my call and gave me exactly what I was asking for. I especially appreciate that even when my requests are sometimes frivolous, the divine has a way of working just so that it is answered in a way that is most beneficial for me at that time. On another topic, I attended my first full moon esbat with a local coven. I had previously attended a Mabon celebration with this coven and after having a wondrous connection, I sought to experience more. It took place on a beach in Malibu and it was truly a magickal experience. Although I have to admit, I may have miscalculated my energy levels. I tend to feel super energized after ritual into the next day, but yesterday during some of our workings when we were offering healing and transferring energy, I did not ground myself properly to replenish my energy levels and that lead to a sluggish morning. I literally had to take my tigers eye with me to work in order to keep up. At the same time, I am glad that the energy that was built up was put to good use. Most of the time when I hold a ritual by myself I raise more energy then I need so I end up super energized and essentially  restless the rest of the night. My grounding techniques definitely need some work. I may try the coven's method of just dancing around and singing until the energy is spent. It would sure make for a good time! This is turning into a relatively short post as I am essentially trying to kill time as my iPhone updates. Hope everyone has a great rest of the week!

Mabon

Mabon this year was truly magickal. Goddess, this year has been really amazing. I've done and seen so many things that I can honestly say I feel good about everything so far. The year started off with my 21st birthday and followed a trip to one of my favorite places here in CA, Solvang. The tiny little village stuck in old world Scandinavia is truly an inspiring place to be. The balance of the quaint little town with the beauty of the natural forests made for a magickal trip. Later in the year brought the beginning of what I am now going to call my concert junkie days. So far I've been to two concerts and three free shows. And I have yet another coming at the end of October. More recently, I had the pleasure of getting together with a group of Pagans to celebrate the Fall Equinox known as Mabon. Along with this wonderful experience, a new meeting occurred. It was a wonderful experience to be able to finally meet someone who shares similar beliefs and be able to physically meet someone from the online community. The Mabon experience reminded me how much I yearn for a "living Wiccan" lifestyle. It felt so comfortable to be so open among those who share similar beliefs and experiences. I mean there is plenty I do at the moment to make everyday more magickal, but sometimes you just want to lay your wand/athame down and relax over a bubbling cauldron(LOL) with someone. Anyway, I'm definitely looking forward to spending more time with that particular group. The year is almost at an end and its time to take stock of everything and tie up any loose ends to ready ourselves for the coming year. I wanted to keep this fairly short because I like most others, have a few loose ends that need to be tied.
 ~Blessed Be
HG

INC'd

I dont think a lot of you guys know so I thought I'd take the time to talk about something that almost everyone thinks about at some point in their life. I'm talking of course about tattoos. I personally think they are amazing pieces of art(for the most part). They are a permanent expression of yourself. Shit, I find tattoos on girls a turn on(hint hint ;-) . Even though I think they are really nice and cool, I dont think I could ever bring myself to get one. For some reason the whole permanent thing bugs me. Granted, if I were to get one, it would be thought out and it'd be something I am willing to live with for the rest of my life. It would obviously have great significance to me personally. Oh I forgot the other reason I hesitate to get one, I'm afraid when I get old, the skin is going to get all saggy and the tattoo is gonna look like some weird smear on my body. I kind of thought recently that I could maybe get a Henna or airbrush tattoo. That way its not permanent and it would serve the same purpose. Plus, it would be kind of fun moving it around different places on my body. It's interesting that with all this I actually sat down recently and came up with a few ideas for tattoos I would get. The main one I would get would definitely be a pentagram no questions asked. Then I thought, I dont really want just a plain old pentagram so I came up with one that would be the triple moon symbol and horned god symbol combined with the pentagram in the center(I'll add pictures to the bottom of this point of what I'm talking about.) The other one I would get would be a Phoenix. Now, this one I haven't been able to find one I really like. I mean I have a image in mind, but I've yet to see it.  Other than that, the only other thing I may get is the wiccan symbol for air which is a triangle point upwards with a line across the top portion. Anyways enough of that, I'd love to hear everyone's opinions on the subject or better yet lets see those tattoos!
Message me on twitter! @hgfreak   =-)

My Beliefs

Okay so I had done this once before in a video that I posted up on YouTube and I thought I'd take another swing at it and post it up on my blog. Here it goes:
First off let me start off by saying that I am a Wiccan. I follow the Pagan nature based religion called Wicca. Now I'm going to put it all together for everyone so that it is easily understandable. Anyways, in Wicca we believe in a God and Goddess. Now most Wiccans follow a specific pantheon such as Greek, Egyptian, or Celtic. I personally haven't connected with a specific God or Goddess yet so I mainly focus on the Sun and Moon as my God and Goddess. Besides that, I also use the Phoenix and Turtle as sort of personifications for my God and Goddess. To me the Phoenix fits perfectly with the God because of the rebirth aspect. Also ,the Phoenix is both fire and air elementally; both of which I consider masculine energies. Now the turtle I use as my Goddess representation because I see the turtle as the great mother. If you look at the Turtle in nature, when a female lays her eggs, she does so in a place she feels safe in. After she lays the eggs, she heads back into the ocean. When the eggs hatch, they instinctively know to head into the ocean and are able to find their way back to their mother. This almost mirrors the Goddess as in the Charge of the Goddess in which it states that "For I am the soul of nature that gives life to the universe. From Me all things proceed and unto Me they must return."  As far as core beliefs, I follow the Wiccan Rede. I also follow logic and science just like any normal educated individual would. I guess another way to put it would be that if I can see it I'll believe it. Reality is perception as a fellow Pagan friend of mine puts it. Now, I think at this time I'm going to stop and direct you all to my YouTube channel under the username Tempestwitch90 . I will be re-posting a video I had done a few months back explaining my beliefs. I want to apologize that this post seemed kind of short and a bit rushed to be honest I'm kinda hungry and I want to grab a bite to eat and have a bit of fun..

Blessed Be~

Update Time!

So its been a while since my last update. Let me tell you, I got a whole mess of things going on.  You can't tell, but I'm actually a bit frustrated at the moment. Why you ask? Because my genius self overcooked my eggs. I'm telling you it can be one of the most disappointing things when you expect your eggs to gush out when you puncture it, but all you get is solid yolk! I'm sure a lot of people have this particular pet peeve and its definitely one of mine. Anyway, as I digest that sad little breakfast egg, I'm enjoying a nice piece of bruschetta  rubbed with some pungent garlic. Okay now I feel a bit better. Strange, I didn't intend on making this post about food, but it seems to have gone that direction. Okay on to something a bit more substantial..(who am I kidding?! The egg is the most substantial thing on this whole post so far! Remember kids, breakfast is the most important meal of the day; even if it is at 1:30 in the afternoon.) So as I mention this for the millionth time, I'm going to discuss the whole Wicca VS Mom situation.
So recently, she's gotten more and more nervous about the whole thing. I mean I try not to bring it up so much but she keeps finding stuff to spark the fire. At the risk of over doing this whole thing, I'll sum it up with: I'm done trying to reveal this whole thing to my family. I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing and try to be as discreet as possible without being suffocated or held back. I mean, my religion is for me and me only. Its personal and I don't need outside approval or involvement. I dont know if I mentioned this before, but for those of you who don't know, I plan on moving out of my parents house hopefully by twenty-five. That particular decision is not solely based on the whole Wicca situation, but more about lifting the burden of me off my parents shoulders. Granted, I support myself and they don't really pay for anything except rent and utilities, but like I mentioned to my mom, I need to know I can support myself completely on my own. I want to be responsible for a place. I need to know that I can take care of myself before I jump into a relationship and try to support someone else. Okay my sister just woke up and so I need to take care of the "little fatty"
PLEASE VISIT MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL FOR A UPDATE VIDEO OR TWO...

Swept

Its been a fairly interesting week. I was called in for jury duty on Wednesday so I got to spend 7 marvelous hours sitting around an auditorium like a cow to the slaughter waiting for my name to be called. Surprisingly, my name wasn't called. Which surprised me because I was hoping to get called. I mean even though it would be a open and close case, it would have been a good experience. Luckily, there were several computers available which helped pass the time seeing as how my phone died about 2 hours after I arrived. So after the seven hours, they announced we were let out early. I happily rushed out after grabbing my certificate of service and made the traffic filled journey home. As soon as I did, I knocked out. Then on Thursday, the book I had ordered finally came in. I had been waiting for the next set in the series for two months and was glad it arrived when it did. After this, I'll have one more to go and I'll have knocked out all 14 books in 3 months plus waiting for the books to release.
On another note, my mom has started to become more and more paranoid about the whole "witch situation". At first I thought she had decided to just ignore it, but I seemed to have set it off when I mentioned True Blood. She knew about the series when I started watching it last year, but at the time my being a witch hadn't surfaced yet so I was just a freak. Anyway, the show is blocked on the main TV because again my moms paranoid about porn so she's blocked everything. So I had asked her for the password and she practically exploded at me telling me to quit watching that witch and vampire stuff. She also managed to worm in that she wanted me to be a proper person. I find it rather ironic since the very thing that frightens her is what made me who I am today which not to be cocky, but its pretty damn good. I'm thinking I may make a video for her to watch explaining everything. I don't think I have enough time or energy to try and write it all out. She can be such a hypocrite sometimes. Last week when I was reading coffee cups all was rainbows and butterflies, but throw in candles and a altar and poof! You've got a devil worshiper! Believe me, if I had the money, my ass would move out. I mean I love my family, but sometimes I want my own space! Tonight is a new moon. Maybe I'll ask the goddess for a fresh start....

Post#48

Things have been going pretty well around here. The buzz from Hawaii has worn off and tomorrow is another work week. The weekend was typical. On Saturday we got together for my sisters graduation party at the park. It was supposed to be just the girls, but us guys ended up crashing the party. I hadn't seen some of the relatives in a while so it was a good opportunity to see everyone and just catch up. Actually I should rephrase that, catching up meant everyone started asking about my trip and which island I went to and did I enjoy myself etc... I don't understand why everyone asked which island I went to. Honolulu island is the main populated one. Where the fuck would I stay on the other islands? Sunday was fun. I mostly slept in because Saturday was a late night and when I did wake up, I had to get ready for a early dinner at my aunts house. That was fun as always. They really know good conversation which in my family is hard to come by if you're looking for something outside family gossip. After we ate, we all enjoyed a cup of good Armenian coffee(i love my jet fuel). I wanted to read my coffee cup and I had it turned upside down in my saucer and noticed that my aunt, mom and uncle had done the same. After a few minutes, I turned my cup over and took a look. Nothing. Of course thats what I see in my own cup. I don't think I did it right... Next, my aunt turned her cup over and handed it to my grandma for a reading. She isn't very good because she doesn't know how to do it properly like her mom who refused to teach anyone. After a failed examination, I asked her for the cup and took a look. I saw a bunch of stuff in her cup and gave her a decent reading. Next, my mom handed me hers and had me give her a reading, which I was more than happy to do. After their readings, it was my uncles turn. I have to say his cup had the best reading, from all of us. After all was said and done, everyone was rather amazed at my skill. Shit, even I was surprised. I mean I don't doubt my ability, but its just when I try to read my own cup, I hardly ever see anything. Anyways, it kind of got me thinking about looking further into coffee cup reading and the lot. Now that I have it swirling around in my head I kinda want to possibly pursue it, but I also want to first work on my runes and tarot before coffee cups. I guess since I'm already decent at it, I can put it on the back burner and focus on runes and tarot especially. It think thats one of the few aspects of the craft that I need to focus on right now. Most everything I have down pat for what I'm looking at learning, but divination needs some work. In the mean time, if anyone wants their coffee cup read, hit me up and we can work something out...lol
;-)

Found It (Old Post)

I've always read about how a witch can connect to nature and the divine energy through a single blade of grass. When I left for Las Vegas, I had the feeling that I wasn't gonna be able to have that connection until I got back. It turned out to be true for the majority of the trip. Being surrounded by all this city life I felt uncomfortable without any nature. It wasn't until we were at the MGM grand waiting for our car did that feeling leave me. I was standing in between the building and there came a strong wind. As soon as it hit me, I felt better. The wind surrounded me and I felt the energy lift me. Like I said in my elemental me blog entry, air took away my feeling of being uncomfortable. Right now as we leave the city of Las Vegas, I start to feel better and better. I am definitely going to a park and enjoy the nature when we get back.

This post was something I had written on my phone that I planned on posting, but for some reason it never made it. I feel it still needs to be shared.

Anniversary

Today marks the two year anniversary of my conscious decision to begin my path in Wicca. I hadn't realized it until a couple of hours ago when I was getting ready for my Esbat ritual. I pulled out my book of shadows because I needed to look something up, and I opened it to the first page of my book which contains my book blessing/simple prayer. I noticed the date at the bottom that I had written to be June 15, 2009. My first reaction was shock. How did I miss this important date? It had been on my mind, but the date I had in mind was about nine days earlier which was June 6, 2009. After the initial shock, I felt really overwhelmed. I whirlwind of emotions filled me and I almost burst into tears from joy. When I composed myself, I stopped and thought back on the previous year and all that I had accomplished. It truly brought a smile to my face when I thought back at the years accomplishments. I have grown so much as a person both spiritually and physically. I can honestly say that I'm exactly where I want to be spiritually at this point in time. I know this post is a bit scattered and unorganized, but its just when I think about it, I become overcome with emotion. In a few days, I will put up another post when I'm a bit less excited explaining things better. I know the Goddess smiles down on me tonight as she fills the sky with her full moon. I wish all of you Love, Light, and Divine Blessings.
=-)

Getaway part2

So I had to cut the first part of this short because I was running late to the luau. Boy, that was definitely an amazing experience. It felt as though we were back in the old times where the old religion was present and the people lived off the land. The unique Hawaiian culture reminded of those times. I thought to myself how amazing it must be to live in a place with such deep cultural roots. I often get the impression that this idea has been lost back home. It's like our grandparents always said, "You kids are so Americanized these days, you have no connection to your roots. It seems our heritage will die with my generation." I have to admit even I have fallen prey to that fact. However, it was short lived to much of my relief. Actually, I probably have one of the stronger connections to my people. The reason for this is that I chose to follow the old religion. I chose to continue what my great ancestors left behind in order to escape war. The Armenians were originally Pagan people like many other peoples around the world. Unfortunately, they had to abandon those beliefs quiet forcefully because of the Ottomans or modern day Turkey. Now I'm just going to leave it at that because I seem to have fallen into a ramble which seems weird to say seeing as how I could easily just delete what I wrote and continue like nothing changed. But that wouldn't be fair. I want to keep my blog as raw as possible. Urgh, this ramble has cost me a considerable amount of time. It looks like I'll have to turn in cuz I want to catch a quick swim in the moonlight before I head to bed.

BLESSED BE~

Getaway part1

So as some if you may already know, I recently went on a trip to Hawaii. I'm actually still currently on that trip as I write this up. Anyway, the trip was really a great adventure. I was really able to take in the culture and experience a lot of different things. On the day that I arrived, after I checked in at the resort, I headed down to historic Pearl Harbor. I took a tour of the SS Missouri which was really interesting as well as hot and kind of cramped. On the second day, I headed down to Wikiki. I was planning on going down to the beach that's famous here, but unfortunately, the GPS on the rental was being strange and didn't lead me to the right place. Luckily there was a galleria area near the beach and I ended up doing some gift shopping. After filling up my bag with goodies to take back home, I walked over to a California Pizza Kitchen(what it was doing so far from home, I will never know...) . I had a quick bite to eat then headed out to make the hour long drive out of the main city down to the resort. I was smart enough to leave the air on before I left for the day so I came back to a very cool room. I took off my shoes and jumped onto my bed. I was still a bit jet-lagged so I ended up falling asleep after only an hour. The next morning, I headed down to the restaurant in the resort for a bit of breakfast. After quickly scanning the menu, I decided upon a traditional Hawaiian breakfast called Loco Moco; boy was it loco. The dish consisted of a plate full of steamed rice with a burger patty on top with a fried egg on top all covered in a delicious gravy. I have to admit, it looked a bit strange, but still a part of me kept saying, "just try it,"so I ended up licking my plate clean.
The next day, I headed down to Honolulu for a little museum hopping(yeah cuz I'm a nerd). I made my way down to Bishop museum which showcased a lot of items pertaining to Hawaiian culture and heritage. After that, I headed to the Pacific Aviation Museum near Pearl Harbor. That trip was fairly good, but honestly war planes aren't high on my list, but it was still informative. To round out the rest of the day which was still fairly early thanx to screwed up sleep patterns that had me up at 6 in the morning, I headed down by Wikiki again and saw the famous King Kamehameha statue as well as the palace. There's going to have to be a part two to all this because I'm headed to a Luau in a few so I need to get ready for that.

Secrets

Its been a while now since that's been on my mind. Usually it doesn't give much to thought, but when I stop and realize that at some point I'm going to have to share my self completely with another person. I mean I guess it's okay among others to hide some secrets that don't really matter, but when your talking about spending the rest of your life with someone. Secrets are bound to come out. Obviously some are more "big time" than others and I think my share of secrets fall in that category. One of my secrets was/still kind of is that I'm a Wiccan Witch. Now, I'm not dumb enough to go around and drop that bomb upon every potential relationship but, it always lingers in the back of my head that at some point someone lucky woman is gonna feel the explosion(and no, I'm not referring to a botched potion;that comes later...). Sometimes I just feel like I should just meet with other witches and see if I can't find a match. But at the same time I feel like it would hinder ones search for knowledge, not that I mean to say another witch would have no useful knowledge for me, but still. I think the other reason I don't is because I don't necessarily want my household to be strictly Wiccan. I want to children to explore and find their path on their own, but thats not to say I won't educate them about Wicca. I would hope that they would be interested in continuing the tradition and allow me to pass down my knowledge to them and so on. Boy I think I'm getting a bit a head of myself. I'm only 21 and I'm already stressing over my own family. I need to slow things down and just take things one step at a time and handle each situation as it arises.
On a side note, for those of you who don't know, I'm planning a little vacation to Hawaii next month. I found a great deal for a resort and the price is really great so I'm going to be taking sometime off and giving myself a break. I mean I've been working my ass off for four years straight and I deserve to take some personal vacation time. It also happens to fall around the Summer Solstice and my two year Wicca anniversary. I'm pumped for the trip and excited for the Summer solstice. Urgh I can hardly contain myself. Alright I'm done. I wanna eat.Such a fatass.....

Tears of the Goddess

Glowing atop the world are the tears of the Goddess. The reason for this is that she longs for her lover the Sun to return to her. At twilight they meet and rejoice in each other as the sky transforms into a rainbow of colors. But the happiness is short lived for both know that the Sun must journey to the other side and leave the goddess. As the moon rises in the sky, the Sun descends leaving only the stars to bring solace to the goddess.The world is covered in darkness and the air is cold as the Goddess mourns her loss. As the dawn approaches, she weeps silvery tears of mourning dew upon the earth. She must now descend to the other side as her lover returns. As the Sun rises, he sees the mourning dew left by the Goddess and extends his rays to dry her tears. He is glad, for the new day brings promise of the return of the Goddess at Twilight where they can once again be together...

Perspective

A lot of things in life are about making your way to the top of this so called "ladder" in life. I think in order to even start to think about climbing that ladder, one must have their feet firmly on the ground first. There is no way you can work your way up if you don't have a solid foundation. This idea always discussed or mentioned, but no one seems to explain what exactly that solid base is. I personally like to think of it as being fully aware of the your current situation understanding all that is around you and really seeing things beyond the physical. It's common knowledge that if you change you perspective on something, everything changes. Well, how can you understand something completely new if you're coming from a place where don't really have a firm grip on what was already there? I think there's a flaw in the way we are raised here in the US. From the second we are born, we are forced to see things through example. Our parents perspective on life and all things in it are pushed upon us and we suck it up like a sponge because we have no understanding to begin with. Then, when we reach that level in life where we are forced into the world, things seem chaotic and strange because we have no personal perspective on anything. I say we let our children run free and experience life for themselves. We need to learn to build our understanding of the world around us before we can rise above it and see things from a different view. This is turned into a bit of a rant now. It's kind of late and I should be sleeping but, I'd taken a evening "nap" so I'm a bit in limbo in terms of sleep and awake. I hope all this made sense otherwise I just killed 20 minutes with the rhythmic clacking of my keyboard. They should make a CD full of the sound of someone typing away on like a old school typewriter. I rather like the sound of busily typing away. I could totally sleep to that. Oh but there also has to be a crackling fire in the backround. You know, to even things out.

Passed down

Everyone has things within their family which have been passed down over the years. Wicca has been a part of me for a while now, but the magic has been with me since I could form my own thoughts. Earlier today I was looking at my tigers eye egg that my grandfather had given to me more than 15 years ago. It had been with me all this time and I always seemed to find it when I truly needed it. I never really realized it power until I truly took the time to look deep into and unlock the power within it. Ever since I realized it's power I have kept it close to me and called it's power when I needed it. The other key that unlocked my mind was a few years after when I was sitting at my other grandpas house. He was telling me a story about how he used to be a really great artist but because of his Parkinson's he could no longer do much. He however was able to draw something up on a piece of paper that he gave to me explained the significance. He had drawn a pentagram on a post it. I looked at it in awe and wondered what it meant. He said "this is a star. Its like the police; it will protect you." Ever since then, I had always seen the star as a protective symbol. When I found Wicca everything seemed to click into place. The star was the pentagram. The symbol of my new found path in life. The tigers eye was my power stone. It grants me courage and grounds me when I need it. Everything happens for a reason and looking back at my life I realize everything lead me to this point. This is better than self-discovery. This was an awakening.

Look a dial tone!

After thinking about what I had said yesterday, I took sometime earlier this evening to try and figure out the reason for my blockage. My mind was a bit muddled from the days activities so after some cleansing and meditation, took a deep breath and consulted the universe for answers. My runes have been my go to "telephone" for getting answers so I pulled them out and let the information flow out. I chose a fairly simple spread. Basically I mixed my runes up laid them out face down and felt the energies until I came across the one rune with my answer. I want to mention that as I laid out the runes the rune Sigel popped into my head. At first I thought to myself, "this can possibly be the answer. Sigel stands for victory." So I put the thought aside and continued scanning the runes. I narrowed my choices between 4 runes. Then from those four I selected my answer. Lo and behold, the rune I select is Sigel.When that happened. I consulted my rune book to see if maybe I had missed something in the meaning. After further inspection, I discovered that the meaning of victory or success basically meant that the current obstacle in my way will be overcome very easily. I guess I was overreacting a bit when I realized my disconnect. All in all the reading gave me the comfort of knowing that my block was not a big one. Merely my mind overreacting.
Then again, my overreaction wasn't totally uncalled for. I hold my spirituality very sacred. My religion is what drives me. The thought of losing it even for a short time scared the crap out of me. It would be like losing a chunk of myself. I need to not lose sight of the world around me and let petty things get in the way. Just like the rune said. I will be victorious. There's no need to "trip balls".
=-)

Please hang up and try your call again....

Its like someone pulled the plug. I've been hearing about people within the pagan community having a spiritual disconnect, but I just thought it was due to the season. Fall and Winter are times to stay in and contemplate the coming year. I must be on a whole other broomstick because mine seems to have happened during the spring time. When nature is starting to awaken and the flowers are blooming, I am stuck in my room feeling like I don't fit. Looking back I realized I was more active in the fall and winter months as opposed to the current time frame. I think its this bloody global warming shit. We had a scorching hot fall/winter and the spring so far has been full of rain and cold. It must be throwing me off my game. I think I need to spend sometime on nature. It really seemed to do me a world of good. Shit I even noticed that the weeks when I didn't head out to the park for my morning meditation, I would get physically sick and lethargic. I don't know, I guess I'm trying to sort this all out in my head while I tap away at my keyboard tonight.
Maybe this is all because I have no real plan anymore. In the winter my room was a mess and things needed to get done. Now that it's out of the way and the space has been cleansed by me I think the lack of chaos is making me feel sort of lost and unfocused. For crying out loud I even bought a new cabinet that I used to move all my supplies and such into so I could have it all in one place and also use it as a altar space. I figured that would help with connecting better with deity and nature but maybe its not working at the moment. I must be missing something. I need to tap into my brain and ask my higher self. My pendulum works great, but I need more of an overall outlook versus a current situation. I should do a rune casting and see what comes up....
On a brighter note, this June will mark my two year anniversary on my path in Wicca. I realized it a couple weeks back when I also noticed it was my two year anniversary on YouTube. Ah memories of my early days both in my practice and my vlog....
Alright back to the dark recesses of my mind to try and sort my self out...

Coming together.

Coming together.

Ever since I started reading the new series I got a hold of, I've started thinking about finding people of like minds to get together and possibly form a coven. In my early years I felt uncomfortable about the idea of a coven. But after reading this book and getting some perspective on the idea it seems right. Now I'm not talking about putting together a formal coven right off the bat. I mostly want to have a group of people that can come together and sort of put some ideas together. I don't think I'm in any way qualified to be any sort of high priest or anything but I definitely have a wealth of knowledge that I want to share. Also I want to expand my own knowledge.
This idea has been on my mind for quiet some time. I remember early in my practice I didn't even consider finding anyone of like mind to ask for guidance. I wanted to find myself on my own terms without outside influence beyond the god and goddess. Now that it's been a few years, I have this yearning for seeking out like minded individuals. I guess I kind of set the wheel in motion slightly when my friends showed interest in my craft. Looking back on it now I sort of regret it because I don't want to tear them away from their own path, but at the same time it felt really good to be able to share my knowledge with someone close to me. Back to the main point of all this. I want to get a group of witches together and possibly form a study group/coven. Maybe at this point since I've finally put the ideas out there the universe will help show me the correct path and possibly get the ball rolling.

[Hovik]

Just a Daily

Ostara has come and gone and the seeds of a new beginning have been planted. It's been awhile since I last updated my blog. I've had a lot of things going on both physically and spiritually. I feel like I'm really starting to come into my own as the year progresses. Sometimes I feel kind of repetitive here. I don't mean to be its just that when I am typing away I let my mind go and just let loose. It's like a form of meditation. I am focusing on myself looking from the outside in and assessing everything that I currently have on my plate. Over the past couple months, I've been trying to work on my thought projection. At first I was difficult to try and control my thoughts and words, but after awhile I picked it up. It was really starting to get out of hand having pretty much everything I say or think about manifest. I realize now that its a wonderful skill that can really be helpful at times. Plus it's kind of fun to occasionally get little freebies here and there. My goal is to be able to project positive thoughts that can influence the world around me and shape it for the better.
On a completely different note, I recently picked up a new book. Its a series by Cate Tierman called Sweep. It was recommended by a fellow witch who was looking for a novel type book that had a Wiccan/Witch theme to it. I actually had the same thought running around in my head about finding fiction books that had a Wiccan theme to them but not be misrepresented. Which probably explains why I found out about these books while browsing YouTube(thank you thought projection). Alright I'm going to cut this short because I want to do some more reading and I actually need to look up some spells for a friend....

*Blessed Be*

Square in a Circle

I believe that I won't be able to love someone without first loving myself and I'm still working on figuring out who exactly I am. Granted, I don't mean to say I am not a stable human being. I am, but there are parts of me that I need to focus on and I see me as priority number 1. I am truly grateful to have found a spiritual path that helps me complete myself. Also, I don't feel ready to share all of me with another human being. There are things about me that no one and I mean no one knows about. My thoughts would literally blow your mind to pieces. This kind of ties in with my feeling of not truly being a part of the "human" world. (and no, I dont mean like I'm an alien). I mean I have a genuine connection with the world, just not so with the inhabitants. So I am a bit of a freak, but I accept that and I live my life. My thoughts are a bit scattered right now, but I just needed to get this out before it exploded.


If this entry seems a bit strange that's because the first part of it just became confidential "me information" not to be released to the public. Maybe in 2012 when the worlds gonna end...lol

The talk

I'm always talking about telling my parents about my path. At the end of last year I made a mental note to try and tell at least my mom about it. As I let the idea muddle around in my head, I tried to figure out how exactly I would tell her. Different situations played out in my head and none of them felt right. I recently just figured I would just drop hints here and there and if she were to ask, I could explain. Turns out she didn't really need me dropping hints. We were having dinner tonight at a restaurant, just the two of us. It started with me asking if the post delivers on Saturday. She said yes and asked if I was waiting for something again. I told her I was. She asked if it was more incense.(she had caught a whiff of several packages of herbs I had gotten before. I told her I was actually waiting on a stone I had re-ordered because the one I got was broken. With that she said what she's always saying to me. " I worry about you sometimes." "You have a bunch of witch stuff and lots of books on the subject and your always watching shows on the subject. What exactly are you doing?" I was somewhat shocked, but somehow it didn't feel like news to me to hear this. I assured her it nothing bad and she doesn't have to worry. I also made a point to say it's not devil worship. She seemed to be somewhat okay with it, but I feel like I need to explain myself a little more. I need to spend some time to put something together and make it easy for her to understand. So once again my intention was manifested and now I have to see it through. Goddess give me the strength to see this through and be able to lay this to rest.

Taken Away

It happened. I finally was able to do what I had longed to do for so long;going to the park and having some peace and quiet meditation.

This all came to be on the morning of last thursday. I had made tentative plans to come into work because I had the week off at the mansion. I woke up in the morning and got ready for work as my sister got ready for school. The first of many signs was the fact that we left the house rather late. By the time I dropped her off it was about ten to eight. As I hurriedly made my way to the freeway on ramp I noticed it was blocked off my a semi-truck. I quickly turned around headed towards the other on ramp about 1/2 mile down. As I drew closer the minutes creeped closer and closer to eight. As I stopped at the block before the on ramp I realized there was no way I was going to be able to get to work on time. I quickly made a right and headed home with plans in mind. Excitment filled me up as I climbed the stairs. I rushed into my room. I grabbed my portable altar and some food and headed out the door. I jumped into my car once again and this time made the drive up to my favorite park. All of this felt so natural. Like it was planned from the begining. I drove up to the empty lot and gathered my stuff to head to the park. As soon as I stepped out of my car I could hear the scilence and I immediately felt at peace. I went up the path to my favorite spot and settled down. I laid my huge altar cloth and removed my shoes. I undid the ribbon that tied my altar box shut. I laid it out, lit the candles, got the incense smoking and sat back and took it all in. Scilence and bliss were the only words at that moment.
I took a moment to just be and enjoy the birds chirpping, the sun shinning, and the cool feel of the earth under my feet. I didn't want to leave. I felt at home. I had finally answered the call of the spirits of nature and I didnt want to let go. I had awakened with the spirit of the park as the warm rays from the sun filled the area.

I wanted to show graditude to the nature spirits for giving me this opportunity. I had packed my self a sandwich. I unwrapped it and took a piece of the corner to give as an offering. I walked over the a small pine tree standing proud before me and laid the morsel down along with a sprikling of water I had and said a thank you. I enjoyed my sandwich and had breakfast with the birds. After all the sitting I wanted to lay down and treat my eyes to the beautiful clear blue sky. I could feel my spirit float into the sky and soar above the trees. A gentle breeze blew in and picked the leaves off the ground. Oh how I love the sound of leaves dancing across the ground in the breeze. Everything was quiet and the park was teeming with life. It was my perfect place. Away from the hustle and bustle of the city, back to nature.