Please hang up and try your call again....

Its like someone pulled the plug. I've been hearing about people within the pagan community having a spiritual disconnect, but I just thought it was due to the season. Fall and Winter are times to stay in and contemplate the coming year. I must be on a whole other broomstick because mine seems to have happened during the spring time. When nature is starting to awaken and the flowers are blooming, I am stuck in my room feeling like I don't fit. Looking back I realized I was more active in the fall and winter months as opposed to the current time frame. I think its this bloody global warming shit. We had a scorching hot fall/winter and the spring so far has been full of rain and cold. It must be throwing me off my game. I think I need to spend sometime on nature. It really seemed to do me a world of good. Shit I even noticed that the weeks when I didn't head out to the park for my morning meditation, I would get physically sick and lethargic. I don't know, I guess I'm trying to sort this all out in my head while I tap away at my keyboard tonight.
Maybe this is all because I have no real plan anymore. In the winter my room was a mess and things needed to get done. Now that it's out of the way and the space has been cleansed by me I think the lack of chaos is making me feel sort of lost and unfocused. For crying out loud I even bought a new cabinet that I used to move all my supplies and such into so I could have it all in one place and also use it as a altar space. I figured that would help with connecting better with deity and nature but maybe its not working at the moment. I must be missing something. I need to tap into my brain and ask my higher self. My pendulum works great, but I need more of an overall outlook versus a current situation. I should do a rune casting and see what comes up....
On a brighter note, this June will mark my two year anniversary on my path in Wicca. I realized it a couple weeks back when I also noticed it was my two year anniversary on YouTube. Ah memories of my early days both in my practice and my vlog....
Alright back to the dark recesses of my mind to try and sort my self out...