Sunday, December 12, 2010
Expectations
I used to not be the type of person that would set long term goals for myself. I mean I do have goals that I want to accomplish, but they are generally short term things. At the same time, I have a lot of different things going on at one time and it feels difficult to keep them all rolling. For one, my career path has really taken off, but my spirituality is falling behind. There are literally not enough hours in the day or days in the week to help me get shit done. My days are super busy and are pretty much run on a hourly deadline basis. Monday through Wednesday is my 8-5 job, Thursday through Saturday is my internship. The only free day I have is Sunday and whatever time in between after intern and sleep I have Thursday through Saturday. So you have to imagine that this usually leaves very little if any time for spiritual growth. Most of the time, the closest thing I have to my path is lighting a candle and saying a short blessing(if I remember) while I pay my bills online and try to plan out the prep work for the mansion I need to do. Because of the craziness I always make time for celebrating the Sabbats no matter how late in the day/night it is cuz otherwise I might just go nuts from lack of spiritual fruit. I was actually thinking about it last night and I thought to myself how great it would be to be able to take a year for myself and devote it all to my path. Of course reality kicked in and I became conflicted with the fact that I dont want to put my career on hold while the iron is still hot. I'm pretty sure next year I may have more time if the internship lands me a job and I can quit my current one, but as of right now, I have to let it play out and just roll with the punches. I know I'm seem a bit scatter brained right now, but its just because I'm thinking about a million things at once and trying to organize the thoughts into words to convey my message clearly. Alright I'm going to finish this up and try to enjoy what little time I have left today before the craziness starts again Monday morning.
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