So as most of you know from either reading my blog or youtube, you know that I'm still in the broom closet with my family. The only one who knows is my sister. This causes a lot of issues when I want to go a quick ritual for something or even just to relax. I can't say to my folks, "Hey, I need some privacy, do not disturb me." As soon as I do, I get bombarded with a million questions as to what I'm up to. I'm not a child anymore. I'm a grown man and I should be able to have my wishes honored. I don't think I can remember a time when I have been able to set up my altar just to relax and meditate or for a ritual or sabbat. Even when no one is home, I cant fully relax because I always have that feeling in the back of my head that any minute someone is gonna come home.
A lot of the time to get some privacy I just take my dog for a walk. I get to be outside and take in nature. Sometimes at night, I even have a little chat with the moon goddess as I walk the pooch. I have to get fairly creative to get some privacy. In the beginning, I used to just light a single candle and chant something in my head or whisper it as I sat on my bed. This would be a possible alternative now, but as I become more in tune with my spirituality, the more I feel justified to be able to worship and practice my craft openly. I tried to get some privacy at a park about 15 minutes from my house up in the mountains. Now that was definitely a good place, but unless it late in the evening, I have to deal with people hanging around and enjoying the park. You have to imagine the look on someones face when they see someone with a bunch of candles lit with a dagger pointing to the sky and chanting.
I mean as a last resort like a mentioned, I can just light a candle and do some silent chanting, but that can only be so much. Sometimes I feel like bursting out and just saying, "Fuck man! People of the Abrahamic faiths bloody have massive temples and churches erected for people to gather and worship! All I ask is for a couple of hours of privacy in my room!"
It's gonna take a lot to get my privacy. Like I said, privacy is expensive.
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