Passed down

Everyone has things within their family which have been passed down over the years. Wicca has been a part of me for a while now, but the magic has been with me since I could form my own thoughts. Earlier today I was looking at my tigers eye egg that my grandfather had given to me more than 15 years ago. It had been with me all this time and I always seemed to find it when I truly needed it. I never really realized it power until I truly took the time to look deep into and unlock the power within it. Ever since I realized it's power I have kept it close to me and called it's power when I needed it. The other key that unlocked my mind was a few years after when I was sitting at my other grandpas house. He was telling me a story about how he used to be a really great artist but because of his Parkinson's he could no longer do much. He however was able to draw something up on a piece of paper that he gave to me explained the significance. He had drawn a pentagram on a post it. I looked at it in awe and wondered what it meant. He said "this is a star. Its like the police; it will protect you." Ever since then, I had always seen the star as a protective symbol. When I found Wicca everything seemed to click into place. The star was the pentagram. The symbol of my new found path in life. The tigers eye was my power stone. It grants me courage and grounds me when I need it. Everything happens for a reason and looking back at my life I realize everything lead me to this point. This is better than self-discovery. This was an awakening.

Look a dial tone!

After thinking about what I had said yesterday, I took sometime earlier this evening to try and figure out the reason for my blockage. My mind was a bit muddled from the days activities so after some cleansing and meditation, took a deep breath and consulted the universe for answers. My runes have been my go to "telephone" for getting answers so I pulled them out and let the information flow out. I chose a fairly simple spread. Basically I mixed my runes up laid them out face down and felt the energies until I came across the one rune with my answer. I want to mention that as I laid out the runes the rune Sigel popped into my head. At first I thought to myself, "this can possibly be the answer. Sigel stands for victory." So I put the thought aside and continued scanning the runes. I narrowed my choices between 4 runes. Then from those four I selected my answer. Lo and behold, the rune I select is Sigel.When that happened. I consulted my rune book to see if maybe I had missed something in the meaning. After further inspection, I discovered that the meaning of victory or success basically meant that the current obstacle in my way will be overcome very easily. I guess I was overreacting a bit when I realized my disconnect. All in all the reading gave me the comfort of knowing that my block was not a big one. Merely my mind overreacting.
Then again, my overreaction wasn't totally uncalled for. I hold my spirituality very sacred. My religion is what drives me. The thought of losing it even for a short time scared the crap out of me. It would be like losing a chunk of myself. I need to not lose sight of the world around me and let petty things get in the way. Just like the rune said. I will be victorious. There's no need to "trip balls".
=-)

Please hang up and try your call again....

Its like someone pulled the plug. I've been hearing about people within the pagan community having a spiritual disconnect, but I just thought it was due to the season. Fall and Winter are times to stay in and contemplate the coming year. I must be on a whole other broomstick because mine seems to have happened during the spring time. When nature is starting to awaken and the flowers are blooming, I am stuck in my room feeling like I don't fit. Looking back I realized I was more active in the fall and winter months as opposed to the current time frame. I think its this bloody global warming shit. We had a scorching hot fall/winter and the spring so far has been full of rain and cold. It must be throwing me off my game. I think I need to spend sometime on nature. It really seemed to do me a world of good. Shit I even noticed that the weeks when I didn't head out to the park for my morning meditation, I would get physically sick and lethargic. I don't know, I guess I'm trying to sort this all out in my head while I tap away at my keyboard tonight.
Maybe this is all because I have no real plan anymore. In the winter my room was a mess and things needed to get done. Now that it's out of the way and the space has been cleansed by me I think the lack of chaos is making me feel sort of lost and unfocused. For crying out loud I even bought a new cabinet that I used to move all my supplies and such into so I could have it all in one place and also use it as a altar space. I figured that would help with connecting better with deity and nature but maybe its not working at the moment. I must be missing something. I need to tap into my brain and ask my higher self. My pendulum works great, but I need more of an overall outlook versus a current situation. I should do a rune casting and see what comes up....
On a brighter note, this June will mark my two year anniversary on my path in Wicca. I realized it a couple weeks back when I also noticed it was my two year anniversary on YouTube. Ah memories of my early days both in my practice and my vlog....
Alright back to the dark recesses of my mind to try and sort my self out...

Coming together.

Coming together.

Ever since I started reading the new series I got a hold of, I've started thinking about finding people of like minds to get together and possibly form a coven. In my early years I felt uncomfortable about the idea of a coven. But after reading this book and getting some perspective on the idea it seems right. Now I'm not talking about putting together a formal coven right off the bat. I mostly want to have a group of people that can come together and sort of put some ideas together. I don't think I'm in any way qualified to be any sort of high priest or anything but I definitely have a wealth of knowledge that I want to share. Also I want to expand my own knowledge.
This idea has been on my mind for quiet some time. I remember early in my practice I didn't even consider finding anyone of like mind to ask for guidance. I wanted to find myself on my own terms without outside influence beyond the god and goddess. Now that it's been a few years, I have this yearning for seeking out like minded individuals. I guess I kind of set the wheel in motion slightly when my friends showed interest in my craft. Looking back on it now I sort of regret it because I don't want to tear them away from their own path, but at the same time it felt really good to be able to share my knowledge with someone close to me. Back to the main point of all this. I want to get a group of witches together and possibly form a study group/coven. Maybe at this point since I've finally put the ideas out there the universe will help show me the correct path and possibly get the ball rolling.

[Hovik]

Just a Daily

Ostara has come and gone and the seeds of a new beginning have been planted. It's been awhile since I last updated my blog. I've had a lot of things going on both physically and spiritually. I feel like I'm really starting to come into my own as the year progresses. Sometimes I feel kind of repetitive here. I don't mean to be its just that when I am typing away I let my mind go and just let loose. It's like a form of meditation. I am focusing on myself looking from the outside in and assessing everything that I currently have on my plate. Over the past couple months, I've been trying to work on my thought projection. At first I was difficult to try and control my thoughts and words, but after awhile I picked it up. It was really starting to get out of hand having pretty much everything I say or think about manifest. I realize now that its a wonderful skill that can really be helpful at times. Plus it's kind of fun to occasionally get little freebies here and there. My goal is to be able to project positive thoughts that can influence the world around me and shape it for the better.
On a completely different note, I recently picked up a new book. Its a series by Cate Tierman called Sweep. It was recommended by a fellow witch who was looking for a novel type book that had a Wiccan/Witch theme to it. I actually had the same thought running around in my head about finding fiction books that had a Wiccan theme to them but not be misrepresented. Which probably explains why I found out about these books while browsing YouTube(thank you thought projection). Alright I'm going to cut this short because I want to do some more reading and I actually need to look up some spells for a friend....

*Blessed Be*

Square in a Circle

I believe that I won't be able to love someone without first loving myself and I'm still working on figuring out who exactly I am. Granted, I don't mean to say I am not a stable human being. I am, but there are parts of me that I need to focus on and I see me as priority number 1. I am truly grateful to have found a spiritual path that helps me complete myself. Also, I don't feel ready to share all of me with another human being. There are things about me that no one and I mean no one knows about. My thoughts would literally blow your mind to pieces. This kind of ties in with my feeling of not truly being a part of the "human" world. (and no, I dont mean like I'm an alien). I mean I have a genuine connection with the world, just not so with the inhabitants. So I am a bit of a freak, but I accept that and I live my life. My thoughts are a bit scattered right now, but I just needed to get this out before it exploded.


If this entry seems a bit strange that's because the first part of it just became confidential "me information" not to be released to the public. Maybe in 2012 when the worlds gonna end...lol

The talk

I'm always talking about telling my parents about my path. At the end of last year I made a mental note to try and tell at least my mom about it. As I let the idea muddle around in my head, I tried to figure out how exactly I would tell her. Different situations played out in my head and none of them felt right. I recently just figured I would just drop hints here and there and if she were to ask, I could explain. Turns out she didn't really need me dropping hints. We were having dinner tonight at a restaurant, just the two of us. It started with me asking if the post delivers on Saturday. She said yes and asked if I was waiting for something again. I told her I was. She asked if it was more incense.(she had caught a whiff of several packages of herbs I had gotten before. I told her I was actually waiting on a stone I had re-ordered because the one I got was broken. With that she said what she's always saying to me. " I worry about you sometimes." "You have a bunch of witch stuff and lots of books on the subject and your always watching shows on the subject. What exactly are you doing?" I was somewhat shocked, but somehow it didn't feel like news to me to hear this. I assured her it nothing bad and she doesn't have to worry. I also made a point to say it's not devil worship. She seemed to be somewhat okay with it, but I feel like I need to explain myself a little more. I need to spend some time to put something together and make it easy for her to understand. So once again my intention was manifested and now I have to see it through. Goddess give me the strength to see this through and be able to lay this to rest.